


The Expel Trap

by Imasuckerforships



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Back ground relationships - Freeform, Bad boy Falco, Bert is lactose intolerant in this, Big Brother Reiner, Controlling Behaviour, Crushes, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falco POV, Falco is actually very innocent, Falco needs a hug, Fluff, Gabi Braun & Reiner Braun Are Siblings, Gabi POV, Healing, Hurt Falco, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, Levi and hange are teachers, Manipulative Relationship, Minor Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV First Person, Panic Attacks, Protective reiner, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, Reiner is actually happy in this, Reiner likes slippers, Self-Harm, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smoking, Traumatised, Udo and Falco are best friends, Udo has tattoos, Underage Smoking, Zofia/Udo, erwin is headmaster, healing together, manipulative, may add smut, switching POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imasuckerforships/pseuds/Imasuckerforships
Summary: Falco and Gabi hated each other. It was that simple. Falco would tease her and bully her and Gabi would retaliate back.But after a school fight between them, Headmaster Erwin takes action and gives them a decision.
Relationships: Colt Grice & Falco Grice, Gabi Braun & Falco Grice & Udo & Zofia, Gabi Braun & Reiner Braun, Gabi Braun/Falco Grice, Gabi Braun/Other(s), Levi/Hange Zoë, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Udo & Zofia (Shingeki no Kyojin), Udo/Zofia (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Comments: 74
Kudos: 95





	1. Short skirts

I sighed, clenching my fists at my side. I was sat in those uncomfortable plastic chairs. I looked to my left where my bully was. He looked a little roughed up but I guessed we both did.  
Our eyes met, his with a blue gaze, I scoffed, and fiddled with my school sweater.  
"Thanks a lot Falco. We're both going to get expelled for this you know.", I scoffed and he hummed, his gaze not meeting my eyes, he looked regretful and his knuckles had bandages over them. So did mine in fact.  
"Speak then. What do you have to explain for yourself huh?"  
He scoffed, this time meeting my gaze.  
"Slut."  
I almost leaped of the chair for him again. I hated him. I hated him so much. He had been a bully to me since kinder garden. How was I supposed to react to this? Ask a teacher to help? No.  
He went to far this time.  
Udo and Zofia exited the office, there looks grim.  
"So?', I asked as Zofia walked over to me, her blonde hair scruffy looking.  
"Headmasters a dickhead.", She scoffed to me. I had to agree, pretty sure only Mr Ackerman and Ms Zoe liked him.  
"Yeah-"  
"Gabi. falco. Get in my office now."  
I did as I was asked and I entered the closed of office. Headmaster Erwin was sat at his desk. His desk was plain, the walls bare, suited his killer attitude. His eye brows where the size of my tooth brush though.  
I sat down yet again in a plastic chair, tucking my skirt under my tights.  
"Thats against school policy Ms Braun.", Falco teased and I snarled at him.  
Erwin cleared his throat.  
"You to have done enough bickering for a life time.. So shut up. I have half the mind not to expel you both... After the damage you did to each other and the cafeteria."  
I almost cracked a grin. I was strong. I almost could take it as a compliment.  
Falco could put up a good fight, he did boxing. I did karate.  
"But.... It's nothing that can't be resolved by this. You two will have 5 weeks the rest of this term to become friends or I will expel both of you. You are both 15 now. It is time for childish rivalries to stop. So. Are you in or not? If your out, I'll expel you on the spot. If your in, you're free to go, but I will ask the teachers to keep an eye on you. Any behaviour thats not friendly. Expelled. Understand?"  
I had half the mind not to leap over the desk and shave his eye brows of.  
"Yes. Sir.", Falco replied in his adult voice, I call it that because he acts differently around kids and adults.  
"Yes... Sir.."

My brother Reiner laughed as he heard this, he was in collage now.  
"He did a fucking expel trap.. Gold.", He said and looked down at me, I still hated how tall he was.  
"A what?"  
Reiner grinned and ruffled my hair, "I'm going out with Bertolt tonight. I'll be back later.", He explained and I groaned, Bertolt was ok....... Not great but along as he only said hi it would be fine.  
"Oh.. Erwin did it with me and Eren."  
"Your.. best friend Eren Yeager?"  
My brother nodded, "Yep. Worked and I graduated. The rivalry was stupid now that I look back on it."  
I gagged at the thought of actually being friends with Falco.  
"No way. I'd rather get expelled then be buddy-buddy with Falco.", I said and crossed my arms.  
We where both in the kitchen, my jumper and tie on the floor long with my shoes.  
"I heard what happened though.. You skirt is short. No wonder he called you a slut."  
I punched him in the chest, "Reiner! You to?"  
He chuckled and picked up his buttered toast.  
"Maybe. But come on he's obviously jealous of Darren."  
I scoffed, "No.. Wait.. How did you know I was trying to impress Darren?", I asked my face heating up.  
Oh Darren, his long wavy brown hair, freckles, green eyes, facial hair.  
"Brotherly sense. But anyway.. Did it work?"  
I chuckled and pushed him away, blushing at the thought of Darren actually liking me!  
"I don't know. At lunch Falco stormed up to me...."

I walked into the lunch hall, my short skirt attracting lots of attention, I only wanted one boy to find it good. My crush and future boyfriend Darren. Oh the thought of Darren fills my stomach with butterflies.  
I looked to my side were Zofia was talking to a few guys.  
We where all horny teenagers at the end of the day. I sat down and took out my packed lunch, waiting for Darren to come over gawk at my skirt. He was one of the cool guys, and we knew each other from karate classes. So he usually made small talk.  
I could feel my nervousness twisting my stomach and making me sweat. Oh gods what if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't come over?  
My skirt was a blue and black tartan one that was more than a few sizes to small. The school uniform was uncomfortable white shirts, blue ties and black jumpers with the school logo on.  
"Nice to see ou wearing something other than those horrible trousers."  
I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at Falco Grice.  
I snarled, "Go away Falco. I'm busy.. Eating my lunch."  
"This lunch?", he pointed to my sandwich I nodded.  
he picked it up and ate it..  
I gasped, "My sandwich you fucker!"  
He shrugged and his blue eyes searching the rest of the lunch box.  
"hm.. I wonder if there's slut magazine in here? Hm.. Maybe a thong?"  
I snarled, "You pervert!"  
he shrugged, his blonde shaggy hair enough to make girls swoon, but he was to much of a lone wolf to lion the popular guys. That and Darren wasn't a dickhead like him.  
He never wore his jumper, his tie was to long and his trousers where baggy. Not to say im sure he smokes aswell.  
"Your a slut. wearing tight and short dresses. Slut. Wear your trousers again.", He snapped, his frame leaning over mine.  
I snarled and grabbed a tray smashing it into is head.  
It was the first time I'd ever hit him.  
It felt good.  
He snarled to and suddenly we where scrapping on the floor, Falco reversing and pinning me down, his fists hitting my sides, me reversing etc.  
We got separated by Zofia and Udo.  
I spat at him, wanting to push him some more.  
Falco looked pale, and his face was suddenly red. Him and Udo made a quick escape.

"And that was it. He's right. I shouldn't wear a skirt again.."  
Reiner asked and patted my shoulder.  
"Wear it again. Annoy him, if he starts a fight or anything at all he's done for. Just tease him."  
I grinned up at him.  
"Your right bro. Your the best. Also you seriously sounded like Zofia then."


	2. Just a bully

I hated this.  
Gabi was wearing a skirt.  
Gabi... And all the boys in class where looking at her.  
I'm not sure when I developed this sense of territory with her. She hates my guts.   
Sure.. I bully her a little, Colt was right I don't know when to stop but if I'm honest I just don't want to get my heart broken.  
But when guys like that douche Darren are checking her out it makes me pissed. I have half the mind not to drag her out of the canteen myself.   
She walked in and swayed her hips, not sure if she did it on purpose but oh my god everyone was looking at her.  
Zofia even started talking to some guys which I could sense made Udo jealous. I pushed my shaggy hair into my face and walked infront of her. She was just seeing up her lunch, she looked anxious probably waiting on that flirt Darren.   
Ok falco.  
Tell her politely to change so people stop staring at her sexy thighs.  
I decided to start it of with a slightly flirty comment.  
"Nice to see you in something other than trousers.", Smooth Falco.  
She groaned, I love it when her little brown eyes frown aswell, almost like she was a toddler pouting.  
"Go away Falco, I'm trying to eat my lunch.", She snapped and I looked down at the pathetic lunch. A sandwich, grapes and a cereal bar. man if she was my girlfriend id literally put cold meals in there id go to the cocao trees and make homemade chocolate for her. But she's not. And she'd leave me anyway so its better not to even try.  
Hm.. Although if I ate it other guys would back off. From my Gabi.  
"This lunch?", I pointed to what was obviously her lunch.  
She nodded, I picked up her half eaten sandwich, hoping to god I don't look like some creep. I licked my lips and shoved it in, making sure to savour very bit just to annoy her. I just love it when she gets annoyed.  
I mean. I can't outright say it. I have a standard to uphold people.  
She gasped, "My sandwich you fucker!"  
I shrugged smirking at her, slowly leaning my arms closer, showing she's mine to the sick horny bastards in the canteen.  
I Looked down at her pink lunch box, flickering to her little breasts before going back down.  
"Hm.. I wonder if there's a slut magazine in here?.. Maybe a thong."  
Oh gods don't think of Gabi in a thong, you gross boy.  
She snared at me, pulling her lunch box away, "You pervert!"  
I shrugged I wasn't going to disagree that I may check out girls, but I'd never actually get in relationships with them... They'd leave me like our parents did.  
"Your a slut. Wearing tights and short skirts. Wear your trousers again.", I said putting my hurt and scars onto her even though I adore her, wondering if she'd let call her a slut in the bedroom, that and I preferred her in trousers. Skirts attracted attention from heart breakers like Darren. Fucking Darren with his face and green eyes and his stupid jawline...  
I leaned my frame closer to her, flickering my gaze to her parted lips, her hands moved and I leaned more in expecting het to grab my hair and kiss me.. Oh gods how much I wanted her to kiss me just to attack each other without mouths.  
Instead she whacked me with a tray...

I arrived home and flopped on my bed, preceding to scream into my pillow. Unlike other boys, I had punk bands and black painted walls, compared to naked photos of girls top of motorcycles.   
My adopted parents hated the colour. It used to be blue when I was 14 now its black.   
Even though I was friends with Gabi in kinder garden, it's when my parents left us, we became nothing. I guess I'm just a dick and bullied the one person who actually cared for me.  
Not anymore, and it was my fault. I'm such a dickhead.  
My brother entered and I looked up at him.  
"I have to spend 5 weeks being friendly with Gabi..."  
he grinned, "That tart you like right?"  
"She's not a tart!"  
He grinned and sat down next to me.  
"Yeah I know. I just like to annoy you.. So.. Why don't you try and become friends again?"  
I scoffed, "No. To many years have gone and the only time I see her is when I'm a dickhead. I have an image at school. Lone wolf. Maybe I'm still mad at everything.."  
Maybe I'm scared of people leaving me. So I just distant myself from emotional relationships. Udo and me aren't really mates. More like smoker buddies.  
Colt patted my shoulders.  
"So you got jealous of Darren again didn't you? Why don't you just rile him up instead of Gabi?"  
"Like she's gonna even consider me after that. She's obsessed with the dick."  
colt sighed.  
"Maybe... Actually try to be friends with her? be nice?"

I arrived to school, my look the exact same, baggy trousers and baggy tie, I slipped my headphones on my head pumping Metallica into my ears.   
I looked out for Udo, not really my friend but kinda, I mean we go round each others houses. To smoke weed or tobacco and play video games.  
He was a lone wolf to, tattoos all along his arm, his glasses he threw away years ago, still uses contacts though. I fist bumped him and grinned, "Sup."  
He hummed and his jaw dropped, I turned expecting to see Zofia making out with someone, that only be the only thing to make him that surprised.  
No..  
Gabi was still wearing a short skirt, even shorter this time! Her pants visible through her tights!  
A coupled guys hooted making my gears grind.  
She smiled as she walked past and stood on my foot. I groaned and glared at her. Wanting to snap at her for wearing it again. She shouldn't wear it the short! Only I should be the one to see her pants! God I'm so possessive.

We entered class and Mr Ackerman sat us next to each other, I tried to keep my eyes up on the board and not on her short skirt.  
She "accidently" dropped her pencil and leaned over and grabbed it.   
I almost snapped at Darren and his mate for staring, his mate doing some stupid hand pattern. Oh.. He was air slapping her leaned over backside.  
I snarled.  
Nah man. She was not some slut. I only called her it to get her to ware some trousers again!

At lunch we sat on opposite ends of the canteen, teachers watching our very move. I felt like a baby. I watched as Darren sat next to her and they talked and laughed and..  
I hadn't even touched my food. I'm really creepy..  
I tore my eyes away and ate my pizza, wondering how to slowly chop his dick of and torch our him, seeing his pain, and make him dick-less. I grinned. Maybe I have problems.  
I turned my gaze back to them.  
Hating every second he spent with her.

I cornered him of, every fibre in my body to back out and not show even a spot of jealousy towards him.  
He gave me his stupid grin that made me wan too smash his face in.  
"Hey Darren. Wann hang after school? Udo got some cigars."  
"Nah man. I got a date."  
My eyes widened and I held my fists to my side.  
"Oh.. Cool. Which tart?", I asked casually.  
"Gabi, her ass is slick in that skirt though right?"  
I nodded even if my knuckles where Turning white at my sides.  
"What you gonna do? Get the slut to jack you of?"  
Darren shrugged, "I dunno. She's rather keen might get more than that. She might kneel down and take m-"  
I grabbed his jacket and smashed him against the bathroom wall.  
"What was that douche?"  
He stared at me confused, I felt odd to.  
Then he grinned.  
"Oh.. You want some action to huh?"  
I snarled, "You even touch her I will go into your room and cut your dick of. You understand me dick-less?"  
He pushed me away.  
"What you call me? I know karate I'll kick your ass."  
I grinned, "A threat? Yo'd be on thin ice if you attack me."  
He shrugged his stupid waves moving to.  
"Leave Gabi alone."  
He went to talk but I hooked him in the gut, "Leave Gabi alone, don't even touch her tit you hear me?"  
He nodded, and I let him go he scrambled away like a scaredy cat. I looked in the mirror at myself. Gave myself a real hard look.  
I'm not deserving of Gabi either.  
I'm just a bully.


	3. Mustard and butter

I walked into the movie theatre, flattening my dress nervously.  
My dress was the only one I had, pink with flowers on, I groaned. I looked like a pretty cliche girl.  
I made my way to a seat waiting for Darren to arrive.  
He eventually did, and sat down. I got a good look of his waves and grinned at him, inhaling his handsome face.  
he inhaled sharply and held his side.  
"What happened?", I asked and he lopped an arm round my shoulders, "Nothing you need to worry about Baby girl."

I was bouncing on my feet as I entered my front door. Reiner raised his eye brow at me, I walked to the kitchen and placed a piece of toast in the toaster.

"I'm guessing it went well?", he asked and I nodded and then squealed.  
"he asked me to be his girlfriend!"  
Reiner grinned, "Thats great Gabi."

I eye him suspiciously for any signs of sarcasm but I see none.Good 

I made my way in school. Wearing the skirt I wore before, its more longer but still well above school rules. I see Falco watching me like a hawk, his hands clenched at his sides. My latest adventure on my neck for everyone to see.  
I'm wearing my shirt buttoned down, my tie baggy and loose, lip gloss and a light shade of pink over my eyes.   
My brown hair let loose and in curls down my shoulders. I look good.  
I wave to Zofia who was chatting to the druggie Udo.   
Udo thinks grunting in different pitches will let people know what hes saying. Its not. It never worked. He only speaks to Falco or Zofia, just grunts with everyone, including me.   
Udo grunts, and shoves his tatted arm in his trouser pocket, he takes a few second before hoisting his backpack on and leaving. We both watch as he high fives Falco and they disappear to probably go some before class.  
Distgusting.  
Darren is nothing, and shall never be, anything like that douche.  
On that note he walks up in all his glory, his dark brown shaggy hair, freckles and green eyes that make my knees go weak.  
he smirks, leans me against a locker and desperately kisses me until we cant breath. he pulls of and presses my lip down with his thumb, almost watching me like I'm his prey. I have to admit I love it like that. My legs want to buckle under his gaze.  
"D-Darren.. Hey~"  
I cringe at my tone and turn to see Zofia has already walked to class.  
Darren swipes his fringe out of his dreamy eyes.  
"So? Want to hang at mine after karate class?"  
I gulp down any clumsy words I was about to splat out.  
"Sure."

Ms zöe sits me and Falco next to me, his clothes stink of smoke, his eyes blood shot.  
I arrange my things on my desk, seeing his eyes searching my outfit.  
"Seriously princess, your whole outfit looks like a strippers. Every guy in out year wants to bang you in Science room 19.", He scoffed, his sandy hair and gold eyes reminding me of honey.  
I blink and scoff. "Sure Romeo.", I say coating my voice in a nice thick layer of sarcasm, so much I could imagine eating it like a pudding.  
he growls under his breath at me, grabbing his black head phone and slipping them over his neck.  
"Whatever princess. Just know these guys only like you now. Because of that stupid skirt."  
Ms Zöe walks over her gaze sweeping over our work, her wedding ring to mr Ackerman tied around her neck, not so secretly.  
her glasses on the bridge of her nose, she pushes them up.  
She's our science teacher.  
Biology and chemistry. She's quite fun, even manages to make Falco impressed. Which is impresses counting alllll the times he critiques everyone. Porbaly yo fill some selfish bully desire of his. Maybe he likes seeing people in pain?

I'm not sure what happened I I'm honest.  
One moment we're sitting.  
The next his hands are all over me, his tongue tracing places Ive never done. I whimper at the boy. My nails clawing at his shoulder blades, the temptation to do more dancing in front of me. His green eyes staring up at mine with intensity. His tongue flicking over that one spot creating a holy of sensations throughout my whole body.  
He pulls of, leaving my neck red and raw. He grins, licks his lips and goes on his phone. Scrolling mindlessly.  
"That'll show him who's boss.", He chuckled to himself and then looked over at me.  
"Film?"  
I gulped down my feelings, my blood pumping and my stomach and legs all tingly from the sensations he just gave me. I gulped down some nervous saliva and I nodded.  
"S-sure."

It was the next day I realised exactly who Falco was. A bully. A big mean and caring bully.   
I arrived to school, my tie and shirt in all the normal places I wasn't ashamed of the hickeys, just... Wondering who 'him' was. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, wanting to stick it in a pony tail but knowing my hair covers it up. Reiner wasn't impressed but he said he was doing alooott more when he was my age. I gave him a chuckle, "Your only 18."  
I pass through the halls, keeping my head bowed, my face had no make up on. I just wanted to be invisible today. I didnt want to get in any kind of trouble with 'him' who ever he was.  
Darren was quick to it, raking his hands through my virgin body, pulling of with a satisfied grin. He always left me wanting more. Wanting it so badly the temptation coils in my abdomen.  
He runs his thumb along my lips, along the nibs hes bitten, giving me that knee wobbling grin that makes my insides melt. I need him so badly. The thought of getting back to my house makes me want to fall into a puddle of jelly.  
He pulls away, keeping a hand on my waist.  
"Morning babe. Whats going on today? No skirt?", I look down at my normal trousers, Falco words in my head.   
I shake my head but he just furrows his brows.  
We've only been together for 1 and a half week.  
His green eyes turn dark for a moment but he gives me a grin again and grabs my hand, a bit to hard.  
"Thats fine. I guess your shamed of your body right? Did Falco say something. Bastard."  
I splutter on my words. Falco isn't that bad.... He just doesn't like girls in skirts he says its sexist.. No thats the wrong word.. Anyway he just doesn't like girls to be stereotyped into wearing these things, or makeup, or 'normal' things. I almost laughed at him that day, "Jeez how much pot you been smoking dude?"  
"W-what? N-no! I-Its just.. My skirts in the wash. I spilt some milk on it."  
That was kinda true but I could feel something claw at me, why did I lie to him? Was I worried he'd be disappointed if I didnt ware my skirt? is he?   
he looks annoyed, he doesn't like my trousers.   
Its ok. I'll just wear my skirt tomorrow.  
I give him a awkward smile, wondering where the by ive known for 2 months had gone.  
He gives me one back and squeezes my waist.  
"You'll be getting a punishment later.", he whispered, his tone not threatening in fact it was pooled in arousal. The thought made me almost whimper. What was he going to do? What would I let him?  
He licks my ear making my breath hitch, my stomach casually squeezing my juices out in arousal, and he walks off, casually like he hadn't just made me soak my pants. I exhale and groan, sometimes it's hard to be a girl. Now I'll have to sit in wet pants..

What I dint expect was to see Falco holding him against a wall, his jaw clenched.  
His eyes turning as dark mustardy colour. He snarled at Darren. Darren giving him a grin.  
"Awww. Scared I'll steal her before you do falcon?"  
He snarled, "No. But she's innocent. Not another one of your bedpost gang."  
Darren made an ooohhh sound and poked at him. His normal cheery demeana replaced with a vicious one.  
"I watched your parents leave you there. At that bus stop. It was raining that day. You where wearing a blue top, muddy shoes.. Should I gone on orphan?"  
Falco looked hurt, he dropped Darren down and he was looking at the floor, his eyes teary.  
Darren grinned and poked his shoulder.  
"Your nothing but a stoner loser. Your not a lone wolf your just a werido who's parents left him. They didnt want you. They didnt love you. I watched them look happy as you watched them leave."  
He sniffled, suddenly he turned and walked out the door, his fingers tapping his legs. His eyes dark and his jaw clenched.  
I walk up to Darren, almost tempted to punch him.  
"Darren. That was unfair. how could you be mean to him?"  
His eyes met mine, his filled with regret and sorrow, "He called you a slut so I told him to shut up and he pinned me against the wall. You think I'm the bad one here? The only way to break him is to mention his parents. I was defending you. he never learns does he? Hes a bully Gabs. he deserves to get a taste of his own medicine."  
I still couldn't help the pool of guilt and nervousness in my stomach grow.  
Falco looked upset. More than normal.  
not that I care!  
.... Maybe just a little.


	4. Traumatic tears

I watched as Darren was chatting to his mates, I could almost read his lips. I pulled my head phones of walking up to him.  
"The little ones so begging me for my cock. God I don't wait to slam into her and use her."  
I became over done with a s splitting anger, the thought of Gabi begging him to stop, begging him for him. All making my thoughts become venousness.  
I snarled, pinning the douche against a wall.

Maybe he was right.....  
I idly thought as I walked home.  
My parents had abandoned me on that rainy day. They left me there at that bus stop, they didnt want me, they wanted my brother.  
They looked happy.  
They almost looked happy to discard me on the side of the road, my shoes muddy, my heart breaking.  
Did they want me to get run over? Kidnapped?  
Maybe.   
His words had cut me deeply.  
I was weirdo who's parents hated him.  
I am him now.  
I'm nothing in they world, I ruin everything.

I couldn't care less about her entrails at school. The way she gawked over him.  
Like they where fucking in love or something.  
I snarled, hating how possessive I got, even though she's not and never was mine.  
Maybe she is my trauma, maybe this is what's it got to, becoming a possessive bully. Becoming toxic at best.  
Maybe.... I'm the thing thats bad. not Darren. Maybe she's into that shit.

Maybe not.  
She looked a mess, her hair unbrushed, her hands clenched like something was going to attack her or even worse force her...  
Ms Petra was droning on.  
It was history class and I couldn't pay attention, I could sense the balled up anxiety inside her.  
"Gabi."  
She looked over at me.  
I always have to gasp as I see her, she only gets prettier over time.  
"Falco... About yesterday.... I'm sorry he said those things."  
I scoffed.  
"I don't need your sympathy." Ive had enough of everyone already. Like im some broken thing that needs to be fixed.   
She flattened her trousers.  
"Im not giving you my sympathy. I'm telling you I get it. I mean.. Why you where holding him against the wall."  
My eyes widened in nervousness and shock.   
"I uh..", I found words left me.  
Gabi smiled, she was always so positive.   
"And he explained to me that he did sleep around but he loves me. So maybe just not attack him again?"  
I think I zoned out as she said love.  
I soon realised that all the air left my lungs, I felt like a stupid moron, trying to breath when my lungs had given everything up, trying to breath and failing, panicking even more, trying to calm myself down and miserably failing.  
Soon finding myself on the floor my head pressed into my hands, Ms Petra casually panicking aswell.

I arrived home feeling like an idiot.  
I got a panic attack because she told me he loves her.  
Even then the thought made my insides churn.  
I couldn't understand what I was feeling.  
I'm a werido thats what I am.  
Darren and Gabi where together.  
That was never going to change.  
I locked myself in my room, trying to stop the tremors, thinking about them, not them, my parents made my mind panic.   
Everyone leaves eventually.  
Everyone hates me.  
I hate me at the moment if im honest.  
Im a possessive creep who's got the hots for my victim.  
I felt crazy, sick, mad.   
Upset.  
Ho could I be messed up because they left me?  
Some kids I live with got abused.  
Some kids I live with watched there parent kill themsleves.  
What the hell was my excuse to feel so traumatised.  
They left me.  
Deal with it you fucking idiot.

I shoved Darren down, beating the living shit out of him.  
Hoping he'd ache, hoping Gabi would dispise me.  
She and my brother are the last things im attached to in this awful hell.  
Maybe im going mad. I'm crazy right?  
I don't know what I want?  
I don't know anything.  
I let go of him, huffing, watching as he tackled me down, punching my face, punching my gut, basically everywhere.  
I had to admit.  
The pain felt freeing.  
It made me ache, in the good way, like I could forget my parents, Gabi, basically earthing and just focus on the pain.  
I am a weirdo aren't I?  
I am everyone burden aren't I?

I sobbed as I tossed and turned through the night.  
I'm broken. I'm stupid, I'm basically nothing. I shouldn't be feeling like shit, im not traumatised. I'm not...  
Maybe its why I bullied Gabi.  
Inflicting my pain on someone else, also someone I end up liking aswell.  
I'm toxic, it would be toxic.  
She was better of away from me.  
This expel trap was a shit idea.  
I'm better of away from everyone right?  
Maybe. Just maybe.  
My eyes flickered down to my smooth arms.  
Maybe I could make my own pain...


	5. Canteen chairs

I walked down the halls, my hips swishing in the tight skirt. Darren by my side, looking like I was his possession.   
Did he even care for he real me?  
I entered my class, Ms Zöe gave me a smile, she was wearing a lab coat, her enthusiasm for science was pretty inspiring.  
I made my way next to Falco, he looked rough. he was wearing a black hoodie, his eyes had dark circles. He didn't even notice me say words. I grumbled and poked his shoulder. His eyes met mine, sure, they weren't appetising like Darrens where but there was so much pain behind them it made me question if he was ok.  
His sandy hair, ruffled like hes given up on even trying.  
"Hows Darren?", He asked, his words coated in sarcasm, his words chocking and almost sounding defeated.  
"Hes well. He's sorry fr saying those things. Are you ok?"  
His eyes looked so pure then, like honey, the sea calming inside them just for a moment before the dark clouds over shadowed the ocean. He scoffed. "Why would I be? Huh? I'm not getting expelled now. I mean.. Forget it..", He sighed and fell into the desk, looking defeated like hes given up fighting.   
It made me ache.  
He didn't even comment on my skirt.

Darren scooped down to kiss me, our lips met but I pulled of, watching Falco look so alone. Udo and Zofia not so secretly making out by my side, and he looked so.. I don't know. Something inside me couldn't bear it. I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to cheer my friend up.  
Friend.  
It struck a chord inside me.  
We used to be friends, until he started being mean to me.  
But..  
That was the time his parents left him.  
I lurched out of the plastic canteen seats and strolled over, sitting next to him.   
He stared at me mouth open, his eyes shone with clear confusion.  
"Gabi.. Why?"  
I shrugged, opening my lunchbox, I handed him my sandwich.  
He took it and stared at me, the sandwich, Darren and back to me again.  
"B-But.. Y-You hate me."  
He looked like a lost puppy, so adorable and yet so sad.   
I shrugged, keeping my legs crossed and we where both next to each other, in plastic chairs, both suddenly..  
"I don't. Not anymore."  
He glanced down at the sandwich and cried like it was the best present anyones ever gotten him.  
"Falco! You ok?"  
He nodded, eating it slowly savouring it, like he would never get it ever again. I giggled at his adorableness.  
He wasn't that bad of a guy.  
He gulped it down and ruffled through his bag, handing me a sparkly pink pen. I stared at him utterly baffled that it was the only colourful thing I think he's ever owned.  
Huh..  
wait.  
"You kept it?"  
He blushed, he blushed! He hid it pretty well with his hood being pulled up and all.  
I almost wanted to say aww. But I stopped my self.  
"You stole it of me.. at the start of this expel trap thing. I gave you it in history. I thought you 'didnt like the girly shit'."  
he cracked a grin, and it lit up the hole present inside me. Huh. Who knew a smile could make you better?  
I grinned back, bagging the sparkly pen.  
"Yeah. I lied. The only thing was Colt teased me like mad for having 'girl shit' thing is. It was the first thing someones ever given me that wasn't on my birthday."  
I stared at him, feeling upset on his half, my heart swelling in pain for him.  
"Oh.. Falco.. I'm.. Glad I gave you a pen then."  
He smiled, and his oceans crashed again the shores of mine.   
"Same princess. Same."

I waved him farewell, the bell had gone and I soon realised I had spent all lunch with Falco.  
Oh hes a sweet guy really. His stupid face as he ate. Like my plain sandwich was made by goddam Gordon Ramsay! Oh man.. I felt something, like my heart was lighter, like him being himself had made me feel better.  
It was popped though.  
darren grabbed my wrist, tugging me into the closest bathroom.  
"Darren!", I snapped, "I have to go to my lesson-"  
"Stop. Flirting infront of me. Tsk Tsk. Tsk. I thought you where a good girl Gabi.", He snapped, his green eyes looking venomous, something inside me didnt like his tone, or the way he was crowding my space.  
"I wasn't. he needed some cheering up-"  
"They all say excuses my dear. Ugh. I thought you where special."  
He turned around.  
If I hadn't been so caught up in my own thoughts I wouldn't seen the smirk on his face. That stupid smirk.  
"I'm sorry! I am special. I'm yours. I'm only yours."  
He turned around.  
"Promise me, you'll not eve stare at him."  
"What?!"  
"Last warning, if you mess with my heart again. Its not going to end good is it honey?"  
I gulped, why was he acting like this? I couldn't let him leave. I love him.  
"I promise. Falco history."  
I wanted to be honest. To myself this felt off. But I guess I didn't understand the red flags.


	6. Genuinely nice

I walked home feeling ok.. Not good.. Not bad either.   
Gabi was.. Nice.. Genuinely nice to me. It made me feel things, made me actually feel something. Sure I love Colt but hes an annoying older brother. I don't know, something in that smirk made my heart crackle with something.. I mean.. Sure I've liked Gabi since last-no- three- no- 6 terms ago, or thats when I realised I wanted to kiss her.  
I sighed, kinda wanting that pen back, I mean, I don't have a pen yet, I did Udo loves to break them... If I'm being honest, I use it in every lesson I don't have her next to me. I get some weird stares but its a comfy pen, good grip, black ink, and its sparkly!   
I entered the foster house. Colt waved to me, I waved back, before I put my hand down in a flash.  
So...  
I may have slit up my arm last night.   
I didn't know today was going to be a good day ok?   
Then again, would it last? Maybe she just felt bad for me?   
No.  
She gave me her lunch. Lunch you only die to friends. And if im being honest, I should move on from her. She seems happy with Darren.   
I made my way to the bathroom, washing my left arm with soap and water.  
In my defence what the hell else should I wash it with?!  
I hissed as red ran down the drain as some scabs came of. I rewrapped some bandages over them, hating the pain, and loving the way it distracts me from everything else.  
Not for a while.  
Should I have done it? Was it worth it?  
Maybe.

I entered Mr Ackermans class, I waited for Gabi. oh man. I had made her a chicken sandwich ti say thanks. Does she even like chicken? Oh frogs.. What if she doesn't- And she's sat down next to me.  
I smiled, shuffling in my seat, she was staring straight at Mr Ackerman, but then again, it was early morning so.. Maybes she's just tired?  
"Gabs? You tired or something?"  
She ignored me.  
I shuffled in my seat again, she glanced over at me.  
"Princess what did I do? I Havant even gone near Darren!"  
She sighed, and glanced around the classroom.  
"Darren. Doesn't want us being friends.", She sighed, fiddling with the pink pen I gave her. I noticed it and almost chuckled. I didnt poin5 it out though, my head running with her words.  
"What?"  
She sighed.  
"Hes jealous. Of us? You just became my friend. Like we're gonna go and jack each other of being the bleachers.", She scoffed, and threw her hands down. I almost chocked on tue image.  
"Yeah right?"  
She smiled ad if faltered near the edges.  
"Falco.. Your always be her right? I mean. Just incase something happens and.."  
I nodded, almost reaching out to steady her.  
her lips trembled.  
"M-Mr can I l-leave jus for a few seconds so I can calm down?"  
I was up with her, steadying her. She looked like she was on the edge of a panic attack.  
"Gabi what's wrong?"  
She sighed, collecting herself.  
"Nothing. I'm okay. I- Everythings well."  
She didnt look well, she was pale, her eyes shaking in their sockets.  
"I'll stay ok? I promise."

I watched her from cross the hall. Darren his arm draped over her shoulders. She still had that, ghost look to her.  
I felt my rage boil.  
Darren.  
He caused this..

I grinned at him. he looked strangely back. I swung a right hook, keeping my left one up, he dodged and went to kick me in the ribs.  
"Falco.. Why are you fighting me?"  
I ground my jaw.  
"You hurt her. You hurt Gabi. Your not the ruler of her you know?"  
he stopped fighting, both of us standing there.  
"She told you didnt she?"  
I was unsure of what to do, both of us tired out from fighting.  
"Told me wha-"  
Udo clasped my shoulder.  
"We need to leave. Come on you don't Wann get in trouble over your little girlfriend."  
"She's not my girlfriend."  
I turned back to see Darren was fuming. He looked pissed.  
I gulped, something slithering down my spine.  
That wasn't a normal look.


	7. Blood stained carpet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rape warning - If your not ok with reading that, please skip to chapter 8. When there is a chapter 8.

He held me down. His knees pressed against the inners of my thighs, his arms holding my wrists down.  
"Your a slut who played with me didnt you? Huh. Now its my turn."  
"Please don't.."  
....

Darren invited me around his house, it was huge and expensive, the type of house that would be great for partys.  
He led me into his massive room, not even letting me drop my bags down or take my shoes of.  
I shrugged, just looking around shocked at the room that was bigger than the top floor to my house.  
It had a bed draped in the middle, netting hanging of it, blue walls, and a huge tv and xbox what ever.  
I grinned ad threw my shoes of hopping onto the gaming couch. I grabbed a controller, switching on a game. Wondering where he had gone of to.  
I dumped my bag on the floor beside it.  
"Yo. What you doing babe..?", I asked over my shoulder, my gaze and attention on choosing a character to drive my Mario cart. Before I pressed play he grabbed my wrists.  
"Darren/", I asked as he dragged me off the couch.  
"O-Ok your scaring me.', I admitted as he kept moving forward his nails digging into my wrists.  
"it hurts."  
He turned around, "Yeah, well seeing you cheat ion me with Falco hurts even more."  
"Wha-"  
He threw me onto the comfy AF bed, I almost got comfortable part form my heart threatening to break out of my chest. I lurched backwards. Suddenly realising I was on his bed, my mu had no clue where I was, I hadn't given Reiner a call, and the doors where locked...  
"D-darren.."  
"You see Gabi. I didnt want to do this. You need some submission You can't do what you want. Don't you get that? Every girl ive had the luxury of going ou with always, always was a good little girl. Not even looking at any guys. Letting there horrid friends go, and just loving me. But you.. Your another story. I cant break you. Really. Ive tried. Its been 2 weeks and 2 days since we've became it ad your still, staring at Falco!"  
I whimpered at his tone, he was scaring me.  
'You see, good girls get treats. They get get you desire you dirty whore. But no. Its your time to pro e your my good girl. So.", He crawled up the bed, reaching my lips. I was asking wondering why my body wasn't moving.  
"Darren please. I'm a virgin. I.. I'm not ready. Please I don't want this...", I knew my pleas where useless at this point.  
He grinned ripping at his clothes, panicked leaping of the end, going to my phone, he tackled me down, pinning my wrists down, his knees pressed against my inner thighs.  
"Your a slut who played with me didnt you? Huh. Now its my turn."  
I felt tears escape, he was hurting me. I felt utterly powerless.  
"Please don't."  
He grinned, pulling my skirt up higher, ripping my tights of, I fought him every step until he hit me.  
Hard.  
I blinked and my ears rang for a minute until I felt something press against my womanhood, it felt rubbery, strange.......  
I lurched backwards. I had half of my clothes on, my skirt pulled higher on my hips, my tights ripped on my womanhood. my pants to.  
he wrapped a hand around my throat, the other he was using to rub himself along my slit.  
I lurched backwards wriggling, trying to get away from him.  
He strangled me until I felt blue, he eased pressure and it made me wonder how many girls hes had sex with.  
He shoved himself in forcefully, I screamed, sobbing, wanting it to stop. This wasn't my fault.. Right?  
He bucked his hips, hard and fast not even caring if I screamed in pain, I begged him to stop, to please stop. He rubbed my clit like that would make the pain go away, I sobbed, my body betraying me into a certain strange pleasure, coping with it properly.  
I still, fought him, as he slid himself between my virgin walls, it hurt. Blood stained the carpet. My blood. He ripped through me, with such force he hit my cervisx. He slapped my face, arms, ass, stomach, clit, everywhere. Digging his nails in covering me up in his bruises. He was enjoying seeing me in this sense of pain. How could he?  
I sobbed, my thoughts going to Reiner, Zofia, Falco.  
How they'd react, hating me. His hips slapped into mine, out body moving into the floor, he was moving so fast so rough..  
He snarled down at me, pounding into me like a beast his cock twitching inside me. He pulled it out, pulled the condom of and sprayed me with his seed. he flipped me over, slipping on other condom.  
"Aw.. Crying wont help you.", He whispered into my ear, my stomach pressed against the carpet.  
He picked me up. Threw me onto the bed and inserted himself into my behind, his hands gripping onto my butt, I sobbed.  
"Stop..."  
He slammed in again. Our body moving the sensation so filling and it filled my soul with pain. He slammed into me from behind his head touching my cervix, I almost moaned, my body wanting to turn the pain into pleasure.  
He snarled, grabbing my neck, slapping me.  
Abusing me.

He left me sore, and covered in bruises.  
I collapsed into my bed, curling up. I didnt want to go to school, I didnt want to see Reiners look of dissapointment.  
I had Ley my self in though my window, I texted them a quick I'm back but asleep.  
And I cried.


	8. dark oceans of the eyes

Gabi wasn’t herself today.  
She looked tired, her eyes heavy and her lips plump and red. She was wearing her jumper and she wore a scarf.  
The teacher didn’t seem to care that much, we where sat by the windows.  
“Gabi. Are you alright?”  
I almost wanted to snap at myself at my stupid tone. God dammit Falco, he soft for once.  
She did nothing in reply. She didn’t speak at all. 

She wasn’t in the hall.  
Zofia hadn’t seen her.  
And Darren wasn’t anywhere either.  
I shrugged up at Udo and Zofia. Zofia sat on his lap. Udos tattooed arm draped around her figure.  
“Dudes. There probably just making out. Why? You like jealous or something?”  
I scoffed, ruffing up my fringe and stroking it back down, nervously I should add.  
“No. She’s my friend. And she’s been Of today and..”  
“Yeah,”, Zofia scoffed, “We know. Listen. Gabis a young woman ok? She’s safe. Darren’s not one of those guys. Just chill Falc’s.”  
I stared into her blue eyes and wanted to fight her and stroll of to find her. Everything was of and on edge. I couldn’t tell why.  
Something was happening.  
Something to do with him and Gabi.

I guess it did shock me when I saw Darren and her arguing. I mean. I thought they where #couple goals, or some baloney. Darren was raising his voice, backing her into the wall. I was quite shocked a teacher hadn’t intervened. He looked angry. His eyes almost looked red. Gabi was whimpering after a while, shaking and panicking.  
“Hey.”, I snapped, strolling between them. Gabi was pressing herself into the wall, trying to get away from him.  
Darren scoffed at us.  
“I have no clue what’s going on. We just started arguing and she started doing...That..”, He almost spat the word and I ground my jaw, shushing at the mess infront of me.  
“Hey? Deep breaths. Look like me?”  
Her eyes met mine, her oceans going mad and the waves crashing against her white. She was crying. I slowly rubbed her shoulder telling her to shush. Angry at how Darren was still doing nothing.  
She eventually cane to. But she still looked like the ghost of her normal self. She couldn’t meet my eyes, both of our eyes. Her lips and hands trembling.  
“Falco. Please. Leave. Go away. This is between us.”  
I turned to Darren, holding in a snarl.  
“Gabi. I’m not leaving. Remember?”  
Darren chuckled, throwing his hands up in the air.  
“This is just great! Thank you Falco. For stealing my girlfriend. Please take the slag. She’s been flirting with you for days. Oh please. Don’t lie to me.”, He snapped, I stared between them and ground my jaw. Wanting to silence every word that I wanted to snap at him.  
“I didn’t steal her. We’re friends. Nothing else. Also. She’s not a slag.”  
Darren inhaled and exhaled. He looked like the Darren every guy knew now. A self centred control freak who uses girls.  
Gabi was silent, deathly silent.  
“Really? Oh Falco. Your such an idiot you’ll think anything is love won’t you? I mean.”, He scoffed,”Your nothing but an orphan. A nobody. Gabi doesn’t want to be friends with you. She loves me. We made love. Oh Falco. She’s so good, ooh.. Just thinking about it is getting me-“  
“Shut up. Leave him alone.”  
I turned down to Gabi. She smiled timidly up st me. I turned back to a shocked Darren.  
“Leave him alone. I’m done. Leave me alone. I dumped you this morning.”  
Her voice was calm, but her hands still trembled in fear at her sides. What happened? What am I missing? Is it any of my business?  
“You! We’re not gone missy. Just stay there and let us talk.”  
I snarled at him.  
“You can’t talk to Gabi like that.”  
“Why not? You’ve done it for years.”  
I bristled and looked down at my shoes, “That’s different.”  
“Oh. Poor Falco. My family hates me. Yeah well guess what? Everyone else does aswell.”  
I could feel my hands shake now, god, he knew how to destroy anyone.  
“Your Nothing. You think Gabi loves you back huh? She’s mine. No one could ever love you. Fucking freak.”  
Every word felt as sharp as a dagger, slicing me down to submission. I lost all my fire and stared at the floor. Feeling everything become heavy.  
“You think you could ever get loved huh?”, He scoffed,”Who could love you? Your family left you there. Your a mistake. Admit it. Admit it you fuck.”, he poked at my chest and I met his snake like eyes.  
“I’m a mistake.”  
He grinned, and looked to Gabi who ground her jaw and slapped him.  
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!”  
Her slap snapped me out of it and it made him angry. He snarled at her. “You little-“  
“That’s enough.”  
We all turned to see mr Ackerman standing there his arms crossed. His eyes sliced through us all, giving me chills. His black hair was tidy and he was holding a travel cup with tea in.  
“Little shit bags. Darren get your fucking ass in here and Falco wait out here.”  
I let out a long breath.  
Gabi and me both stood silently. Her fingers timidly wrapped around my pinkie. I blushed as glanced down at her.  
“Don’t. I need some comfort.”  
On her command I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her that way.  
“Are you sure your ok Gabi?”  
She sighed, inhaled and shook her head.  
“No. I have a few things to talk about when I get home.”  
“Oh... Ok.”  
She smiled softly, it wasn’t her bigggest grin but it was enough to light up my dead heart.  
I smiled weakly back.

“Falco, Gabi. Come in and explain to me what happened?”  
We both sat down infront of his desk. He sipped from a China cup and he used it really weirdly, I decided not to ask.  
“I found them arguing, um then, me and Darren had a confrontation and you found us.”  
“Gabi?”  
She shifted in the seat.  
“I...Uh... Yeah. B-But.. I need to talk to someone. Um...”  
Mr Ackerman raised his eye brow, “Personal? It’s fine you can tell me. That’s what teachers are for.”  
She nodded and turned to me.  
“F-Falco.. I’m not..”  
“I got it. Personal stuff. That’s ok. I’ll wait outside.”  
She nodded and squeezed my hand.  
I left the empty classroom and waited in the ghost of a corridor.  
It was so quiet I could here myself breath.  
Was Darren right?  
Does no one love me?  
I sighed, feeling the feeling come back, it feels like someone’s filled my lungs with heavy air and it’s slow to breath. I leaned against the white painted walls, staring at the obnoxious messages on the opposite side of me.  
Gods.  
Darren was a horrid boy.  
I sighed.  
Fighting was useless.  
He’s not going to change.  
At least Gabis out of that horrid relationship.

But.

Maybe.

No...  
That’s a stupid idea.  
Gabi could never like me the way I do about her...  
Darren’s just crazy.

But.  
What if that’s why they broke up?


	9. Buttered toast

I twiddled my hands infront of me.  
Levi Ackerman, slowly slipped from his tea.  
“So Gabi. What did you want to tell me?”

I woke up to my body aching. I groaned to see it would be another hour till my alarm would go of. I placed my feet on the floor, the insides of my legs aching, I felt my arms and neck, everything hurt.  
I walked into the bathroom, looking at the damage.  
I had finger marks on my neck, hickeys, he had marked me.  
I sobbed, remembering what he had done.  
How?  
Why?  
Was it my fault?  
I turned on the taps and ran myself a bath, wanting to wash myself of his smell.  
I put my ears under and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t gone there?  
Falco warned me. I just thought he was being his normal annoying self. But he- I slipped out of the water, and held my knees close to my chest. Resting my forehead against them. How can I face him? I glanced at the towel rack, I hadn’t even washed myself. I slipped out of the water and grabbed a towel. Patting myself down. Hissing as I made contact with the sensitive bruises. How did I not see the signs? I’m an idiot. I didn’t even stop it. I sighed, dropping my towel to the floor, and sliding down with it. Sitting on the bath mat and sobbing. It wasn’t a shock that Reiner knew something was wrong. I mean, look at me. I was wearing a scarf and I hadn’t even had any buttered toast. He swollowed and met my gaze. “Gabi. Are you ok? You haven’t eaten? Don’t tell me Zofia told you breads bad for your health.” I chuckled, and shook my head. “No. It’s not that.” I sighed, and grabbed some, I forced myself to eat it down. I felt sick afterwards though. I looked down at my phone, texting Darren. I dumped him. My mother dropped me of at school. I made my way to class, I really didn’t want there eyes on me. I wore nothing revealing today, no makeup, nothing. Just regular old Gabi. I guess I go back to my old ways. Soon. Falco will probably start being mean to me again.. I don’t want that.. I sat down next to him, not talking to him. I didn’t want to burden him with my problems. It was lunch, I walked to the bathroom, and went. I exited, after washing my hands, and saw Darren waiting for me. He grabbed me hard, and walked me down to a empty corridor. Mr Ackerman wouldn’t be back for another 7 minutes because he goes out and buys black tea. “Darren! What do you want?!” Darren didn’t look like the boy I liked. He looked evil, his green eyes looked poisonous, his brown hair was scruffy, like he hadn’t had a good nights sleep. “Gabi, I’m sorry for earlier.” “You raped me. How can you be sorry?!” Darren sighed, “I want you back. I just got jealous of Falco. Because he’s obsessed with you, like it’s wrong.” I scoffed, tugging my wrist out of his grasp. “I don’t want you back! My desision was final Darren!” He inhaled, “I guessed. I mean.”, He scoffed, “You like Falco.” I blinked, and shook my head. He was getting in my space. “Stop.. Get away! Leave me alone!” He snarled, pinning me against the wall. “Your mine Gabi. Your never leaving. And you never will. You’ll want me. You will.” I felt my heart beating fast, I backed into a wall. Wondering why the hell Mr Ackerman has to get black tea.

That’s when Falco got in the way.  
But I couldn’t really stop the shakes, my vision was starting to blur. And my knees where shaking. I couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.  
It wouldn’t stop...

“Mr Levi sir..”, I exhaled, and tapped the desk.  
He raised an eye brow.  
“It’s about Darren. He-He-H-“, I started sobbing, pressing my hands into the balls of my eyes.  
“Hey, it’s ok. Let it out.”  
I nodded and sniffled, looking up at him.  
“What is it Gabi?”  
His voice was soothing unlike when he’s teaching.  
I gulped down some air, and held my hands against my chest.  
“Darren, He.. Raped me..”  
Levi blinked, and he closed his eyes, exhaling almost angrily.  
“He did.. What?”  
His tone changed.  
“I can’t stand for this. I’ll be back.”, He pulled out his phone.  
“Yeah. Erwin. It’s about Gabi, and Darren. Uh huh. Yep. I’ll meet you there now.”  
I looked up at him as he sighed, and stood up.  
“Mr Levi sir?”  
“It’s ok Gabi. Let the adults deal with this. I’ll call up Ymir, she’s a therapist..”, he inhaled and held my shoulder. “Quit worrying. None of this is your fault.”  
I nodded, maybe he was right.  
But this was to much for one girl.  
“Sir, I’m only one girl. Why?”  
He smiled.  
OMG he smiled!  
I’ve never seen him smile, not this genuine.  
It made his face handsome.  
No wonder Ms Zoe is head over heels for him.  
“Because, no body should go through this. Believe me.”  
I blinked.  
He looked sad for a moment but it passed like a leaf in the wind.  
“Right. Go home. Tell your family. They won’t hate you. They’ll support you. Ok? Calm thoughts. I’ll deal with this. Also, can you take of that scarf?”  
I looked down at the pink scarf.   
“Uh. Ok..”  
I slipped it of only for him to gasp, he leaned over a bit and I let his fingers trace the bruises.  
I felt tears prick my eyes.  
“It hurts.. So bad. Every where.”  
He nodded, and handed me my scarf back.  
“Tell your mother. And get a doctors appointment. I’m not a doctor but it hurting a lot. So. Just. Get some help ok?”  
I nodded, he was so mature and wise.   
He was about to leave and I turned to him.  
“Mr Levi sir. Thank you.”  
He smiled, (AGIAN! Ahh), and nodded slightly.  
“No problem Gabi.”

I eventually found Falco, he was wondering the corridor. He looked worried.  
“Missed me?”  
He suddenly looked relaxed.  
“Gabis back I see.”  
I cracked a grin at him, “Yep. And listen. What.. Darren.. Said.. Are you ok?”  
He nodded, and smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes.  
“Yeah. And.. Uh...”  
“I won’t be in school for a couple days.”, I explained.  
He raised an eye brow and I swear to the gods my nose started bleeding.  
“Why?”  
I sighed, “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone. It’s personal.”  
He nodded, but he still looked hurt.  
“Falco. I’ll give you my number so we can text?”  
He nodded, he looked so excited to have my number.   
I thought back to what Darren said.  
Could Falco like me?  
No.  
He’s just my friend. He’s a good friend. And he could hurt me like Darren did. He could force me agian.   
No.  
I can’t.  
He’s just my friend.  
My good friend.  
I handed him my phone, watching as he typed my number into his.  
He was quite handsome, when his hood was pulled down that is.  
His golden hair and eyes, his defined jaw.  
He was one of the hot guys. But he never gets with any girls. I’m certain he’s never had a girlfriend before.  
Probably because his parents left him..  
I pushed the thought away.  
No.  
Darren was lying.  
Right?  
I looked down at Falcos nose and lips, he wasn’t that bad looking.   
But.  
He could force me..  
I sighed and he handed my phone back.  
“I’m gonna go.”  
“Yep. I’ll see you in a few days.”  
I leaned over and kissed his cheek.  
I moved away as quickly and he blushed.  
“See you. Falco.”


	10. Smoking for fun

I was sat around the kitchen table eating my favourite meal, spaghetti Bolognese.  
I had such a love sick smile on my face, no wonder Colt was giving me such weird looks.  
My foster parents, saw this.  
“Falco.. Anything happen in school?”  
I gulped down the lovely quorn mince and tomato sauce, slurping down the spaghetti and I grinned.  
“Yep. Something did happen actually.”  
The other 5 children, all scoffed. There mouths covered in sauce. Laura, the one with pig tails. Was still eating, she didn’t seem to care. And rightly so, she’s only like 5.  
“Oh? What like?”, That was my “dad”.  
I used to call him dad.  
I don’t anymore. He’s not my real dad..  
My real dad left me alone.  
“I got closer to Gabi today. I hope Mr Smith actually sees we’re getting on now.”, I said, and swirled the pasta on my fork.  
My “dad” grinned at me. You could tell we weren’t really related. He had dark brown hair, green eyes. Big nose and he was a bit chubby.  
My “mum” was blonde, blue eyes, and nice hour glass build.  
They are like opposites of each other. And yet they work well together.  
My “mum” can’t have children, something inside her is broken and she can’t have children.  
It’s sad really.  
And it’s why they have like, 7 of us. Orphans.  
I pulled the spaghetti of the fork and ate it, watching there reactions.  
“The tart?”  
I glared at my brother, he ruffled my hair, which annoyed me very much.  
“Yes.”, I snapped at him.  
He smiled and broke a piece of garlic bread of the roll and started eating it. I copied him.  
“Mum” made the best garlic bread ever..  
Heaven every time..  
My “dad” smiled and placed his fork and spoon down.  
“That’s good son. That’s really good.”  
He doesn’t know that a little bit inside of me cracks every time he says son.  
I suddenly lost my appetite.  
“May I be excused?”  
He nodded, and I got up from the table, the chair squeaking along the floor as I did so. And I walked up stairs, to my room.  
I closed the door and grabbed my phone from my pocket. Tapping a few times and opening up Gabis name.  
No.. To early.  
I swiped it away and started playing angry birds. 

As expected Gabi wasn’t in school the next day.  
Rumours had it she was getting an abortion. Or plastic surgery.  
I scoffed at them, how could people be so stupid?  
Gabis a virgin, I think. And why would she get plastic surgery?! She’s perfect! 

Udo passed me a cigar and I placed it to my lips. Inhaling. I felt the smoke fill up my lungs and travel down my throat. I kept it in for a while, liking the feeling, before exhaling.  
I grinned up at him.  
“Udo. God that’s some good weed.”, I chuckled, to early to feel the affects but soon enough I would.  
Udo looked down at the cigar in his hand. Before taking a puff himself.  
We where around his house, his xbox turned on. A bowl of Doritos between us.  
Zofia seemed like a good girlfriend. From what Udo says anyway.  
“So. You and Gabi huh? Didn’t think douche was her type.”  
I punched his shoulder, laughing st him sarcastically.  
“Haha. We’re not together Udo......Yet.”  
He grinned, ignoring the comment and stabbed the end in an ash tray.  
The room smelled of smoke from around two years of us smoking in it.  
I’m not addicted. I just enjoy smoking with my mate.  
“What about Darren her ex? How’s he doing?”, He asked me and I shrugged. Honestly, I did know.  
He was doing bad, he looked even worse than yesterday. God. Gabi must be intoxicating to get him upset. But. I don’t know the story. And it’s her business.  
“How’s Zofia?”  
Udo grinned, and rolled his shoulders.  
“She’s alright. Taking it moderately slow though. Wouldn’t want to ruin this if I’m honest.”  
I furrowed my eyes brows at him.  
He shuffled under my gaze. We where both sat on bean bags that where placed at the end of his bed, and the x box was placed in front of us. Stacks of CDs by the forest of wires.  
He looked nervous, a blush appearing.  
“I’m falling for her Falco. Oh god.. I am.”  
I laughed, “No- Your- No way- ... Seriously?”  
He nodded, twiddling his thumbs infront of him.  
He was wearing a black jumper, but one of those strange ones without sleeves. Mean while I wore a grey hoodie that was a size to big for me.  
We both wore jeans, and our shoes where thrown by the door.  
His mother was used to it by now.  
“Seriously! You! Dude- You lost eveything before me! You made our before me! Gave hand jobs, received hand jobs before me and now- Your going to lose your Cherry dude.”, I whined, and he grinned, smugly.  
“Who knew? I mean, you look like the kind of guy who lost it when you where 14 if I’m being honest. But, your like the most innocent 15 year old I’ve ever seen. You’ve only made out with a girl? And that was like... a year ago.”  
I could feel heat rising to my cheeks.  
He was right.  
“Dickhead!”, I threw my bean bag at him, knocking the crisps over. He grinned, and threw it back at me.  
We began a pattern of war. Throwing pillows at each other. Eventually we started getting violent, and eventually I had to stop things.  
“Pussy are you?”  
I scoffed down at Udo.  
“Please stop calling guys that. It’s toxic masculinity dick.”  
Udo scoffed, and ruffled his raven hair. I could see the snake tattoo that ran up his right arm. So sick. Snakes where Udos favourite animal, he also has a tattoo of a falcon, and a small unicorn on his left wrist. He said his sister wanted the same. She died and he got it to honour her. “Ok god..”

We both started playing COD. Doing online.  
Me and Udo on a team.  
Although, eventually I threw the controller down and turned to him in a huff. “Wanna have dinner here?”, Udo said, pointing to the near dark sky.  
I checked my phone, seeing a few missed calls from Colt.  
“Sure. Your mum making pizza right?”  
Udo nodded, and pulled out his phone.  
“Yep. Also, I’m gonna phone up Zofes.. So.. Uh. Sit.”  
I scoffed, “I’m not a dog!”, I shouted after him.  
He shook his head and called through the door, “Yeah you are!”

I shook my head, smiling.  
Udo always knew how to cheer me up.  
I pulled out my phone, texting Gabi.  
I had her nick named, “Sweet heart.” With a few heart emojis as her contact.  
“Hey.”  
I put my phone away, and took a few Doritos and are then before Udo could tell me I have my own bowl.  
I sadly had are my own bowl already.  
I guess he wouldn’t mind..  
Bring!  
I pulled my phone out in a flash, and saw Gabi had texted back.  
“Hey. How r u? Was jus thinking about messaging you.”  
I grinned as I read her message and felt my heart swelled up. She was thinking about me!  
Ah!  
“I’m good. Wbu?”  
I waited patently for a reply, before stealing a few more crisps.  
“I’m well. Just arrived home.”  
Oh?  
“Where-“  
I typed it away, cringing at myself.  
“Oh cool. I’m around Udos for tea.”  
I sent it and switched on South Park, which was a box set.  
I watched my favourite episode, keeping my phone in my hand.  
“That’s good. Zofia called up earlier. She’s well. If you where wondering.”  
I smiled down at the message.  
“Wanna phone?”  
She was typing for a while.  
“No. Sorry. Some other time. I have to go. Reiners calling me. Bye xx”  
I couldn’t care about the call as I stared at the little Xs. I whooped and saw Udo poke his head in, concerned.  
“I’m good! I’m really good! Ahh!”  
He scoffed and closed the door, going back to his call.  
I watched as the group pretended to be ninjas. It was all good until they accidentally threw a ninja star in butters eye.  
That was about the time Udo sat next to me.  
“So?”  
He looked very nervous.  
“So.... She agreed to go on a date on Friday. That’s in 2 days. And I’m going to tell her I love her then.”  
I patted his shoulder, smiling. I was genuinely happy for my friend.  
“That’s good Udo.”  
He smiled and ruffled my hair,  
“So? Zofia mentioned how Gabi told her she’s wanted to text you all day.”  
I blinked, watching his face for any signs of lies.  
“Really?”  
“Yep. I seriously don’t understand what you guys see in each other.”  
I pushed him away form that, and he leaned with a laugh. Which made me laugh, before the horrible numb feeling came back.

After dinner, I bid him farewell and started walking to the nearest bus stop. But my phone ringed. I grinned, thinking it was Gabi, but frowned as I saw it wasn’t Gabi but it was an unknown number.  
“Hello?”, I asked as I answered it.  
There was silence for a few seconds..  
“Hello Falco. Did you really think you could get with my girl? And get away with it?”  
I almost dropped the phone at the voice on the other side. I looked around me trying to spot him.  
I finally spotted them, the person was sat in the bus stop. He had stalked me here? How did he know I was here? Why was he here?  
His green gaze on me.  
“Falco! Nice to see you... Buddy.”  
His smile was not one of familiarity..


	11. Tea and talks

I arrived home to see Reiner, Bert and our mother sat at the table. My mother was crying and Reiner was comforting her.  
“Hey? It was not your fault. It was none of our faults.”, he reassured her and I dropped my bag. “Mum? Re’?”  
They both froze, Bert smiles awkwardly. He kissed Reiners cheek, “I’ll uh put the kettle on.”  
He left the room, and I sat down next to Reiner.  
“What’s going on?”, I asked them, my mother smiled weakly. Her blonde hair was out badly behind her ears and her blue eyes looked tired, and she was also red from crying.  
“Honey... We know about what.. Happened.”  
I turned to Reiner, he smiled weakly back.  
“....What...”  
Reiner swept me up in a hug, I was still processing everything. “It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s not you fault.”, He shushed rubbing my back.  
Tears, I didn’t know I was holding suddenly where released.  
My mother joined the hug to.  
“My baby’s. I promise you Gabi. I will help you through this. I promise.”  
I looked up at my mum, my chin resting against Reiners shoulder.  
“Will you?”, I chocked out, and she nodded.  
I smiled.  
“Did Levi contact you?”  
My mother nodded, and we all sat back down. Bert awkwardly carried in a tray with our cups on.  
My tea was the way I like it though.  
He set the cups down and sat next to Reiner.  
My mother loved tea, so it just kinda brushed of on us.  
I sipped from the cup, my gaze on my mother.  
“Yes. Levi’s an old childhood friend of mine. Shocking right?”  
How old was Levi?!!  
He looks good if he’s in his 30s. My mother was 37 years old. So I’m guessing she was the older friend.  
“I didn’t know that.”, Reiner said and I agreed with him.  
“Yeah. Not common knowledge.”, She chuckled and Bert held Reiners hand on the table.  
My mother was very accepting when Reiner came out as gay. It was a bit of a shock for me to begin with but eventually I got used to seeing him with boyfriends.  
I do wonder if he’s going to marry Bert. They’ve been together since they where both 15.   
I don’t know.

I sipped from my cup, “So... Did he mention.. Eveything?”  
My mother, sipped form her cup, copying my movements.  
“Yes.”  
I nod slightly, staring down at my cup, my gaze not wanting to meet there’s.  
“Honey... We.. Uh... We are going to talk with his parents and talk about this. We’re waiting for an investigation and other adult stuff.. Anyway, I want you to move dojo’s. I don’t want you in his classes anymore. I want you and Darren to never see each other again.”  
I gulped, blinking away tears.   
“Wait.. My life has to get turned upside down even though he-“, I chocked on the word and rested my shaking hands against the table.   
My mother, sighed.  
I sighed back, turning to my brother.  
He looked angry like me.  
“I’m pissed. Stupid. He should be locked up now.”  
I couldn’t stop the sobs, “So? He’s not locked up yet?”  
My mother shook her head, Bert gave my shoulder a squeeze.  
I smiled weakly at him. He does try.  
“Mum... Did Levi mention Ymir?”  
My mother nodded, “Yeah. I’m looking into that. Now honey. Really. Calm down... Reiner, Bert, would you mind watching some Netflix or going up park with Gabi?”  
Reiner shook his head, “I wouldn’t mind. Bert?”  
Bert shook his head, grabbing the remote. Grinning.  
“I’m putting on Cobra Kai!”  
I grinned, sliding into the sofa. Reiner passed me a blanket and he snuggled up next to me. His arm wrapped around me. Bert in his other.

I woke up on the sofa, Bert and Reiner cuddling in there sleep. I smiled watching them.  
God there so gonna get married soon.  
Where we live, it’s legal for them to get married. Rightfully so.   
I mean, they deserve to be married to!  
I made myself some buttered toast, and sat down at the table.  
Pulling my phone out.  
Zofia had phoned me.  
I clicked on her contact and called her up, balancing my phone on my shoulder and eating.  
“Gabi! How are you?”  
I swallowed and placed the phone on the table. “I’m good. How’s school?”  
Zofia giggled through the phone, I could imagine her blue eyes lighting up and her nose wrinkling.  
“I’m hanging with Udo and Falco. There doing well.”  
I picked up another bit of toast.  
“Oh? Hiiii Udo! Hiiiii Falco!”, I said into the phone, grinning like an idiot.  
“Uh... Hey?”, Falco said and I could imagine the look on his face.  
“Hey.”, That was Udo. His voice was surprisingly deep.  
“Oh go away! Girl stuff!”, Zofia snapped and I heard them scurry of.  
“So... Falco was talking about you. Saying how Darren was being a dick head. About him, he’s a real douche Gabi. I think you like bad boys.”  
I scoffed, trying not to think about Darren’s hands all over me. Or the bruises he left.  
I gulped down the tremors and chuckled.  
“Zofia!!! Your one to talk. Your with mr tattoos.”  
She laughed in response.  
“His tattoos are actually so cool. He even has a unicorn! My fav animals. Also. No. You are never to old to like unicorns.”  
I sighed, Zofia was mature but she had some childish qualities. But then again. Who am I to judge? Like what you like.  
“I agree. So. I-“, I stopped talking as I saw my brother wake up. I turned my phone on speaker.  
“Say hello brother.”  
He grumbled in response, ruffling his blonde hair. Bert who was asleep woke up and felt the sofa, searching for Reiner.   
I put my phone to my ear.  
“I uh.. Gotta go.”  
“Ok.. Uh.. Bye!”  
“Say bye to the boys for me!”, I said as the call ended.   
I placed my phone down, turning towards the towering tall Bert.  
He ruffled his raven hair, his eyes looking down st me. His hand rubbing the back of his neck.  
“Soo? Can I make pancakes?”

It was the end of the day, my mother making phone calls, Bert and Reiner has to go to college but promised to return for some films again.  
I was busy scrolling through Instagram, board. Is this normally how people felt after they just got raped?  
Why hadn’t I been interviewed like in tv shows?  
Maybe that’s what my mums been doing all day.  
I liked Zofias selfie, it was her putting her fingers in peace sign, her cheek pressed up against Udos, Udo grinning and her laughing.   
Adorable.  
Then I scrolled through her account and saw some photos of Udos tattoos up close.   
The snake one was detailed, along with the falcon and the little white unicorn with pink hair.  
I clicked on Udos and then found Falcos.  
I blinked.  
Since when did he even have social media?  
It was ‘Falco Grice 69’ (ha so original Falco!) as his name and his profile pic was a pic of him with a coat on, looking in the distance. It was quite small so I couldn’t make out much details. He was at the beach.  
I scrolled down his account to see he didn’t have any posts.  
I clicked follow anyway.  
Then I received a message form him.

“Wanna call?”  
I stared down at the message, bewildered.  
Do I?  
I started typing, “Sure.” Then deleted it and groaned. “No. Um.. I..”  
I sighed, I don’t want him to hear my voice. How down I am today.   
And anyway, on that note, Reiner entered the house. Carrying shopping bags in his broad muscley arms.   
“Gabi! I need your help with these!”  
I groaned, but texted Falco a quick message. I decided to give him two Xs. My heart fluttering at what I had sent him.  
I walked to Reiner and helped him carry the bags in.  
“No Berti?”  
He shook his head, plopping the contents of the bag on the side. “No. He won’t be here till he’s done his after school rehearsals. Believe it or not, he’s a theatre nerd and I’m well..”  
“A script writer. Yes. The perfect match.”, I chuckled at him, keeping my tone light and annoying. He grumbled, and ruffled my brown hair.  
“I agree... So.. Who where you texting?”  
I placed the milk in the fridge, forcing it to squeeze between the other two milks. Almond, and chocolate.   
Berts lactose intolerant and we just kind of have almond milk or some alternative handing around now. As I’ve mentioned they should just marry each other already.  
“Uh... Falco.”  
He slyly smiled, wiggling his eye brows at me.  
“O-Oh-ohhhh. Someone’s got a boyfriend.”, Now he was teasing, doing that annoying squeaky voice.   
Weird thing is when you see him you think he’s some sturdy grumpy man but really he’s a softy who loves his family. And he loves slippers, different ones. He has loads of pairs.   
“Haha.”, I replays sarcastically, trying to hide the flush on my face, Why was I flushing? I’ve hsut gotten out of a relationship.   
Like it was one to begin with.. One voice said and another one scoffed, it was a relationship and she shouldn’t have told anyone about it. Now she’s never going to find love again.  
I pushed them both down, and focused my attention on Reiner.  
“Falcos not my boyfriend. He’s a friend. A good friend. Who.. He...”, I sighed through my teeth. “He warned me about Darren. And I didn’t listen.”  
Reiner blinked, his hands resting on the egg box.  
“He did?”, He seemed genuinely shocked.  
“Yeah. But... It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”  
Reiner nodded, agreeing with me. And we bring started packing away the shopping together.


	12. Glow in the dark stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings-  
> Explicit self harm and references to child abandonment

My body ached.  
I looked at my phone with her contact on and almost cried.  
I didn’t hurt because of bruises or pain.  
I hurt because of what I had to do.  
Or.  
What he made me do.....

I stared at him, my mouth opening just a little.  
His green eyes where dull, flames and poison filling the sea of green. He was grinning like a manipulative maniac. He walked over to me, calm sophisticated and not like the narcissist, horrible, disgusting man he was.  
“Falco... Nice smoke?”  
Even his voice annoyed me to shit.  
I kept my distance, assessing him.  
He followed me here and basically stalked me.  
I ground my jaw, glaring at him.  
He chuckled, almost seemed like he was laughing at me and my attitude.  
“Guess it was,”, he shrugged, and tilted his head slightly, his eyes venomous. “— but I wouldn’t know would I?”, he finished, hopping onto the road and back on the pavement. Dancing around. Waiting for me to speak.  
I eventually, after minutes of silence, him dancing around like a fairy, spoke.  
“What do you want Darren?”  
He stopped goofing of and grinned.  
“I have something I’d like to show you.”  
I gave him a confused look, furrowing my brows slightly. I tried to stay on two feet but shuffled between my left and right. My hands staying in my pockets. I watched as he took his phone out, really concentrating, and he grinned. He showed me his phone.  
I blinked because of the brightness but eventually gasped at what I saw. I averted my gaze, flushing like mad. Then it turned into anger.  
I glared at the bastard.  
“What... The hell?!!!!”, I snarled and walked up to him, pushing at him.  
All I could picture was her tongue out, her innocent yet pleading eyes up at the screen, her hair tied in a pony tail ready to be gripped onto, looking so ready for my...  
Stop-  
Stop it- No. Don’t think of her like that!  
I snarled at him.  
He didn’t look at all frightened of me.  
“Mad I saw her first Falcon?”  
I ground my jaw.  
Trying not to remember the array of pictures. Or her figure, that I’d run my hands over, kiss over, worship her over... Or her brown hair in curls falling over her beautiful boobs— Oh god she sent him so beautiful pics but gross she shouldn’t and oh god I’m thinking about her.. I exhaled, trying to stop my dirty thoughts. I felt flustered but I kept my face angry.  
“Sick. Your so sick. Getting her to send you photos. Delete them. Now.”  
He grinned, and he looks at them again.  
“No. I won’t.”  
I snarled, “What? You...”  
He nodded, “Listen to me. I will send these photos everyone in school and then everyone will see her perfect tits and ‘her begging for cock face’.”  
I stared at him, wanting to smash him to pieces.  
“You wouldn’t dare.”  
He looked amused, a kind of menacing grin plastered on his stupid face.  
“I would. And I could. I will. Only.. If you don’t agree to my deal.”  
I scowled at him, “What deal?”  
I hated even giving him the idea I would agree.  
His snake eyes gleamed with joy.  
“I want you to never speak, text, or anything to Gabi again. I mean. She doesn’t deserve you, and you don’t deserve her. So. Deal? Or I will send these photos.”  
I could pinpoint the exact moment my heart stopped beating.  
Never.. Again?  
“You.. Bastard!”, I shouted in response to him, clenching my fists. Using every ounce of Will power not to pummel him into a coma.  
“Oh...”, He clicked on contacts.  
I gasped, “Stop! Stop! I’ll do it. Delete the pictures!”  
He grinned, looking down at his phone.  
“Nah. Then why should we have this deal eh Falco boy?”  
I growled, glaring at him, “Your sick.”  
He shrugged, “Eh... Nothing matters and we’re all going to die. May aswell mess up people’s lives.”  
I looked down at the pavement, noticing his posh shoes and my scruffy school shoes from Asda.  
“You won’t send them?”  
“Cross my empty chest Falco.”  
I sighed, and nodded, “Just. Leave me alone.”  
He grinned, and called himself a taxi. 

As soon as I arrived home my rage couldn’t be contained.  
My “dad” was stood there waiting for me to arrive home, a scowl on his face and it was just more than I could take.  
I suddenly felt rage puns through my veins, like I had suddenly been objected with it. All I could feel was anger, I could feel it over flow me and as soon as I saw his stupid scowl. His look of disappointment. A look I’ve seen to many times.  
Every time I arrive from Udos. Every time I smell of smoke. Every time I fail at anything.  
That.  
Stupid—  
I screamed and punched him square in the face, he fell backwards in surprise and his nose made a snap noise.  
I felt my heart beat in my chest, threatening to beat out of it.  
I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I could feel tears falling down my face.  
My “mum” and Colt looked on in shock.  
My “mum” looked angry as anything, instantly helping him to the kitchen.  
Colt looked at me in shock, then his brows furrowed at my sudden tears.  
I rubbed my eyes and ran up to my room, locking the door. I could feel the tides inside me changing into a calm sad numbness.  
How could I have hurt him?  
Why am I so angry?  
What did he do?  
I don’t deserve this.  
The hurricane of thoughts decided to fly and crash into my room.  
I looked into my bedroom draw, my hand inching towards the knife I stashed in there———  
Bang! Bang!  
Colt banged on the locked door. Breaking me out of the trance. I gulped, looking down at myself putting it back in there and sliding my sleeve back up my arm. I exhaled, scared at what I was about to do again.  
I took out my phone and looked at her contact. My body numb. I was sat on my bed.  
I threw my phone across the room, and watched as it cracked and made a dent in the wall.  
“Falco! Falco! Are you ok?”  
I snarled at my brother, tears pricking my eyes at what I’ve done.  
I threw my bag down by my phone, and I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it.  
“Falco!”  
“Falco!”  
“Falco!”  
How could I agree?  
I did it to protect her.  
It’s ok.  
It’s cool.  
She’s just a girl.  
She’s..  
I sobbed into my pillow, my brothers tapped got less and less until I heard a door unlocking.  
“Go away.”  
He sat on the end of my bed, resting his hand on my ankle.  
“Are you OK?”  
I sniffled and looked at him, “No.”  
He smiled and patted next to him, “What happened?”  
I chuckled, soullessly and emotionless, and couldn’t even muster anything to say. “Hey..”  
He looked at me concerned now, his eyes full of worry.  
“Wanna talk about it?”  
I shook my head, and sighed.  
“It’s nothing Colt. I’m good... Really.”  
He sighed, and held my shoulders.  
“Are you sure?” I smiled. Fake as a Kardashian’s ass. “Ok. Good. Good. I’ll go inform the others then.”  
I nodded at him, “Can.. You tell him I’m sorry?” Colt smiled and nodded he gave me a squeeze and left.  
I sighed, flopping into the mattress, looking st the ceiling.  
When I was younger I covered the ceiling in those glow in the dark stars.  
I had just been fostered, I didn’t like the dark, I hated it. I usually slept with Colt back when my parents where in our lives.  
They usually sent us out to play or sometimes buy food from the corner shop, just so they could get high together.  
They didn’t abuse us. No. And they didn’t get high all the time.  
They just....Left us sometimes, forgot us at a friends house or school but they’d always return. Always pick us, or me, or him up eventually.  
And then.  
That day.  
After school, when I was waiting for them, in the rain, my clothes soaking wet, sniffling. It was normal so I hoped, and I waited, and I waited and-  
They left me there, at the bus stop I ran into to get shelter in.  
They left me.  
Everyone will leave me.  
No one will stay.  
I’ll be left alone-  
Alone-  
I couldn’t breath, my vision blurring. I needed a distraction. I needed- I-  
I couldn’t stop myself, I dug through my draws and took it out. And I pulled my trousers of and sliced my leg. Once.  
But deep and along the thigh and I watched as the skin broke and the blood dripped out down my leg.  
And I exhaled, the rush calming my thoughts down.  
My anxiety suddenly fading away.  
My ears still rang but my heart beat was slowing down now.  
I exhaled and stared up at the stars.  
Remembering the good times, the days we’d go to theme parks and they’d buy me cotton candy.  
And my dads beard would fly around in the spinning tea cups because I would make it go so fast. My mother would make a packed lunch and ware those white frilly dresses.  
Oh her smile.  
She’d smile, she smiled a lot.  
I sighed, counting the little stars.  
After they left us, I had a bedroom with strangers. Colt was in another room.  
And it was dark, and scary. And different.  
And I wouldn’t sleep.  
I didn’t sleep for days.  
I fell asleep during class, almost every class.  
And the teachers told my foster parents and they asked me and I eventually told them I’m scared of the dark.  
They brought me the stars.  
And they’ve been here ever since.  
Shining through the darkness.  
Even if I’ve just lost my reason to shine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry I haven’t updated this is sooo long!  
> I’ve been so busy..:/  
> I hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter!  
> Also-  
> No spoils for 138 pls. Just in case you decide to make a reference.


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